Sean Connery was sitting by the pool one morning when he got a call from his agent about a new role: “Hi Sean” says his agent, “Listen I want you to me up with this director tomorrow morning to discuss the part, about Ten-ish.” “Tenish” replies Sean, I don’t even own a racket!”
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Work
Sean Gets a Role….
Livening Up a Meeting…
Stand up and act indignant. Demand that the boss tell you the ‘real’ reason this meeting has been called. Spill coffee on the conference table. Produce a little paper boat and sail it down the table. During a meeting, each time the boss makes an important point, (or at least one he/she seems to...
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On the Buses…….
A man is working on the buses in the US collecting tickets. He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there’s a woman half getting on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the man is sent down for murder...
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Blonde Builders……
A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in the office and said, “We need some four-by-twos.” The clerk said, “You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?” The man said, “I’ll go check,” and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and...
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On The Site….
An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow were hired at a construction site. The foreman pointed out a huge pile of sand and told the Italian guy, “You’re in charge of sweeping.” To the Scotsman he said, “You’re in charge of shoveling.” And to the Chinese guy, “You’re in charge of supplies.” He...
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Out Of Office Email Alerts
I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood. You are receiving this automatic notification, because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at...
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Management and Staff
A man in a hot air balloon, realising he was lost, reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended further and shouted to the lady, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don’t know where I am” The woman below replied,...
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Visiting the Dentist
A husband and wife entered the dentist’s office. The husband said, “I want a tooth pulled. I don’t want gas or Novocain because I’m in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.” “You’re a brave man,” said the dentist. “Now, show me which tooth it is.” The husband turns to...
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