Football
Choosing a Baby
An Manchester United fan, a Scouser and a Chinese man are in the hospital maternity ward. The doctors goes out to the fathers and he tells them that there has been a mix up with the babies. He says, “Each of you go in and choose a baby that you think is yours, then...
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Big Ray’s World Cup Joke
Big Dave sends a big OTF thanks to Big Ray for this gem: Nigeria are out of the World Cup, they have offered to refund back all the money to fans who travelled to South Africa. They said they just needs every ones bank details & mothers maiden name to complete the transaction…
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Capello’s First Day
It’s Capello’s first day as England manager and he walks into the showers and sees a huge turd on the floor. He goes straight to the dressing room to confront the players and asks “who’s shit on the floor?” at which point Peter Crouch sticks his hand up and says “yeah, but I’m good...
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Ferdinand Can Play…..
Rio’s been told he can play in the World Cup if he gets a Cortizone Injection. Rooney said: “If he is having a new car, then so am I!”
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German England Supporter
A German family head out one Saturday to do some shopping. While in the sports shop the son picks up an England football shirt and says to his sister, “I’ve decided to be an England supporter and I would like this for my birthday.”
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Snow White & The World Cup
Snow White is cooking dinner and hears a loud bang coming from the direction of the mine. Upon reaching the mine she realises that there has been a cave in. Snow white calls out, “is there anybody down there”? There is a long silence and then finally a voice can be heard saying, “Australia...
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Rooney Celebrates
Rooney is celebrating. “43 days, 43 days!” he shouts happilly. Coleen asks him why he’s celebrating and Rooney replies, “Well Coleen, I’ve done this jigsaw in only 43 days.” “Is that good then Wayne?” asks Coleen. “You bet”, laughs Rooney, “It says 3 to 6 years on the box.”
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Amazing Memory Man
Scouse Rob is touring America on holiday and stops in a remote bar in the hills of Montana. He’s chatting to the barman when he sees an old native American sitting in a corner-complete with full tribal gear, long plaits and wrinkles. ‘Who’s he?’ enquires Robbie. ‘That’s the Memory Man,’ responds the barman. ‘He...
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World Cup Final Tickets
A man had great tickets for the World Cup final. As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.
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