Two golfers met at the club. “I heard about your terrible tragedy last week,” said one. “Yes,” said the other sadly, sipping his drink. “I was playing a two-some with Winthrop, and he dropped dead on the ninth hole.” “I understand you carried him all the way back to the clubhouse too,” the first...
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Sports
Two Golfers
Choosing a Baby
An Manchester United fan, a Scouser and a Chinese man are in the hospital maternity ward. The doctors goes out to the fathers and he tells them that there has been a mix up with the babies. He says, “Each of you go in and choose a baby that you think is yours, then...
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The Aussie Golfer
An Australian touring round Britain was playing on a small course in Devonshire. He was on the first green and about to putt when he was suddenly beset by a flock of seagulls. “Piss off, will ya’,” he cried, thrashing at the birds. A sweet little old lady who was sitting knitting near the...
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The Novice Lady Golfer…….
A woman is learning how to golf. She has been teaching herself to play for more than three months and she is really bad. She decides to consult a golf pro. When she sees the golf pro, she explains how bad she is and he tells her to go ahead and hit the ball....
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The Naughty Golfer
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8:00 pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to...
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Big Ray’s World Cup Joke
Big Dave sends a big OTF thanks to Big Ray for this gem: Nigeria are out of the World Cup, they have offered to refund back all the money to fans who travelled to South Africa. They said they just needs every ones bank details & mothers maiden name to complete the transaction…
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Capello’s First Day
It’s Capello’s first day as England manager and he walks into the showers and sees a huge turd on the floor. He goes straight to the dressing room to confront the players and asks “who’s shit on the floor?” at which point Peter Crouch sticks his hand up and says “yeah, but I’m good...
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Ferdinand Can Play…..
Rio’s been told he can play in the World Cup if he gets a Cortizone Injection. Rooney said: “If he is having a new car, then so am I!”
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German England Supporter
A German family head out one Saturday to do some shopping. While in the sports shop the son picks up an England football shirt and says to his sister, “I’ve decided to be an England supporter and I would like this for my birthday.”
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