Taoism: Shit happens. Buddhism: If shit happens, it’s not really shit. Zen: What is the sound of shit happening? Confusianism: Confucius says: shit happens Islam: If shit happens, take a hostage. Protestantism: Shit happens because you don’t work hard enough. Catholicism: Shit happens because you’re bad. Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?...
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Religion
Religion Summarised
Jesus – A Man?
There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black: 1. He called everyone Brother. 2. He liked Gospel. 3. He couldn’t get a fair trial. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish: 1. He went into His Fathers business. 2. He lived at home until he was 33. 3....
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God Willing…..
A religious man is on top of a roof during a great flood. A man comes by in a boat and says “get in, get in!” The religious man replies, ” No, I have faith in God, he will grant me a miracle.” Later the water is up to his waist and another boat...
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Up Before Saint Peter
A man appears before St. Peter at the pearly gates. “Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” St. Peter asks. “Well, I can think of one thing,” the man offers. “I came upon a gang of drunken pirates who were threatening a young woman. I asked them to leave her alone, but they...
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A Miracle on the M25
A priest is driving down to London and gets stopped for speeding on the M25. The policeman smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, “Sir, have you been drinking?” “Just water,” says the priest. The policeman says, “Then why do...
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