A Roman centurion walks into a bar. “What can I get you?” asks the barman. “I’ll have a Martinum please.” “Don’t you mean a Martini?” “If I want a double I’ll ask for one.”
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The Lone Ranger and Tonto have just spent a month riding through the desert before landing up at Prickly Gulch Creek where they go into the saloon for a much needed drink. They’ve only been in there a few minutes when a man runs in asking if anyone owns a big white horse. “That’s...
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A tough looking group of bikers was riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stopped. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, “What are you doing?” “I’m going to commit suicide,” she says. While he did not want to appear insensitive, he...
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A little boy goes to his dad and asks, ‘What is Politics?’ Dad says, ‘Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The Prime Minister. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government. We are here...
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Terry, Hamish, and Paddy went on holiday to Mexico, got drunk and killed a Mexican. All three went to jail and were sentenced to the electric chair. First, they sat the Terry down and asked him if he had any last words. He said he was a dentist and would care for everyone in...
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A lady walks into an ice cream shop and asks the man at the counter for some chocolate ice cream. The man says “sorry ma’am, we’re fresh out”. The women says “OK, than just give me some chocolate ice cream please”. The man replies “Sorry ma’am, I just told you we’re out”. The woman...
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Little Jimmy is sitting in class one day, when the teacher says: “I’m going to give you a letter of the alphabet and you have to give me a word that starts with that letter and use it in a sentence. Let’s start with A.” Little Jimmy raises his hand and shouts, “Me, miss!...
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A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week, the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the...
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