Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok. Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run behind car get exhausted. Man with one chopstick go hungry. War not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
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One Liners
Confucius Say…….
20 More Yo Mama One Liners
(If your car is insulted) Well, it rides better than Yo mama. After I’m done whoopin’ your ass, tell Yo mama she’s next! Have you heard the story about the old lady that lived in a shoe? Well Yo mama is so poor, she lives in a flip flop. Hey I’m jealous! Yo mama’s...
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20 More One Liners
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not...
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A Collection of Wedding Quotes
The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it. (Ann Bancroft) I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewellery. (Rita Rudner) Keep your eyes wide open before the wedding, half shut...
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More One Liners
The quality of the jokes available on other peoples sites is going down. Big Dave apologises in advance for this list……. My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn’t concentrate. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so...
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Yo! Mama
Yo! Mama… so ugly yo father takes her to work with him so he doesn’t have to kiss her goodbye. Yo! Mama… so stupid she worked at an m&m factory and threw out all the W’s. Yo! Mama… so ugly when she tried to take a bath the water jumped out! Yo! Mama… so...
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More One Liners…..
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep – not screaming like all the passengers in his car. I went into a pet shop, and asked “can I buy a goldfish?” The man in the shop said “do you want an aquarium?” I said, I don’t...
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Tommy Cooper – He Was Funny
Some classic Tommy Cooperisms…… Went to the paper shop – it had blown away. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any. I bought some HP sauce the other day. It’s costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years. Last night I dreamed I ate...
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Even More Short Jokes…..
Exaggerations went up by a million percent last year. During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy I asked why so long a password. “Because,” she explained, “the policy states that it had to be at least 8 characters long.” What does a...
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Some Short Jokes…..
Two fonts walk into a bar. The barman says, “We don’t serve your type.” Two vomits were walking down the street when all of a sudden one started to cry. “What’s up with you?” asks the other vomit. “Oh I always get emotional when I get to this place…this is where I was...
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