The Queen is inspecting 3 armed forces personnel, 1 from each of her fighting forces. She asks each one what they would do if they woke up and found a camel spider in their tent on operations? The squaddie says, “I’d reach over, grab my bayonet and stab it to death!” The matelot says,...
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Navy
Queen’s Inspection
Change
Officer: Sailor, do you have change for a pound? Sailor: Sure, mate. Officer: That’s no way to address an officer! Now let’s try it again. Do you have change for a pound? Sailor: No, SIR!
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Royal Navy Life Simulator
Build a shelf in the top of your wardrobe and sleep on it inside a smelly sleeping bag. Remove the wardrobe door and replace it with a curtain that’s too small. Wash your underwear every night in a bucket then hang it over the water pipes to dry. Four hours after you go to...
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Big Navy
An American warship is tied up next to an English warship. An American sailor leans over and yells to a British sailor “How’s the world’s second largest Navy doing?” The Brit replies: “Just fine, mate. How’s the world’s second best doing?”
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Dropping the Bomb
Two Marines were sitting around talking one day. The first Marine asked the second Marine, “If they were to drop a bomb right now, what would be the first thing you would do?” The second Marine said, “I would screw the first thing that moved. What would you do?” The first Marine replied, “I...
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