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Meanwhile in Egypt…..

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A group of tourists was watching the re-enactment of an ancient Egyptian religious ritual. One turned to a nearby local, pointed to the statue that was being praised and asked, “Pardon me, but what was the name of that god?” “Why do you ask?” the man replied. The tourist shrugged. “Oh, just idol curiosity!”
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State of the Art Watch

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An Aussie walks into a pub and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, ‘Is your date running late?’ ‘No’, he replies,’I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was...
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Fun with Colonies

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Fun with Colonies


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Paddy’s Fingers

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Paddy was working at the fish plant in Cork when he accidentally cut off all 10 of his fingers. He went to the emergency room in Cork ‘s hospital. The doctor looked at Paddy and said, ‘Lets be avin’ da fingers and I’ll see what oi can do’. Paddy said, ‘Oi haven’t got da...
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The Obitury

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A very popular Scotsman dies in Glasgow and his old widow wishes to tell all his friends at once so she goes to the newspaper and says “I’d like tae place an obituary fur ma late husband” The man at the desk says “OK, how much money dae ye have?” The old woman replies...
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Lashings

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A plane was shot down over Iraq and Saddam Hussain captured a Scotsman,an Englishman and an Australian. Saddam says “I’m not as cruel as George Bush says I am You will be given 50 lashes each but you can have whatever you want on your back” The Australian goes first and asks for the...
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Light Bulb

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How many Scotsmen does it take to change a light bulb? Och! It’s no that dark!
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Cockney Thinking

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A Cockney Geezer decides to travel around the Greek Islands. He walks into a bar and Jill (the Cockney Barmaid) takes his order, Lager, and notices his accent. Over the course of the night they get to know each other quite well. At the end of Jill’s shift he asks her if she wants...
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The Aussie Golfer

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An Australian touring round Britain was playing on a small course in Devonshire. He was on the first green and about to putt when he was suddenly beset by a flock of seagulls. “Piss off, will ya’,” he cried, thrashing at the birds. A sweet little old lady who was sitting knitting near the...
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Touring South America

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A tourist is traveling with a guide through one of the thickest jungles in South America, when he comes across an ancient Mayan temple. The tourist is entranced by the temple, and asks the guide for details. To this, the guide states that archaeologists are carrying out excavations, and still finding great treasures. The...
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